MWUTT 58: Women Are Leaving Church. What Are We Afraid to Teach?

Why are women leaving the church? A recent Forward in Christ article points to burnout, loneliness, and too few places to serve in the church. But what if giving women more to do in the church is the wrong fit? Today, I'm joined by pastors Michael Willitz and Erik Alair to open God's word with me on marriage, motherhood, and why work at home matters to God. And before we're done, we'll ask how to help lonely people belong. It isn't a new program, and it starts outside the church building. Welcome to Men Who Understood the Times. I'm here with Michael Willitz. He's a pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Wabeno and Risen Savior in Mountain, Wisconsin. I'm also here today with Erik Alair. He's a pastor at Ascension Lutheran Church in Antigo, Wisconsin. Today, we're gonna be talking about an article that was published in Forward in Christ just a few months ago called "The Quiet Exodus of Women: Why Women Are Leaving the Church and How We Can Invite Them to Stay." Mike and Erik co-authored a letter that they wrote to the publishers at Forward in Christ with some concerns about what was written there, and that's kind of what we're gonna be talking about today. So Michael, first question to you, why do we go to church, and why are women leaving?

First, thanks for having me on, Zach, and it's good to be with you, uh, today for the podcast. Why do we go to church, and why are women leaving? We go to church because of the word of God. In God's word, God speaks to us, God deals with us with, with both commands and with promises, and we have both of those regarding the divine service of the church. We have a command from God, the Third Commandment, remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Uh, we have the same command spoken in Hebrews chapter 10, where God tells us not to, not to forsake meeting together. And we also have, in addition to God's command that we would gather together around his Word, we have the promise that in this assembly, in this service, we are going to receive Jesus, and we are going to receive the forgiveness of sins. In fact, Martin Luther, when he writes about the Holy Christian Church in the third article of the, of the Apostles' Creed in his large catechism, he says that this is why the Church exists. It exists for no other reason than the continuous, unhindered distribution of the forgiveness of sins. This is why we have a Holy Christian Church, to gather together for forgiveness that we sinners need. So that, that's why we go to church, because of God's commands that we do so, because of his promise that we're gonna get Jesus, we're gonna get forgiveness of our sins. And those who forsake going to church, those who leave church and don't gather for the assembly, whether it be young women or young men, old women, old... If someone is not gathering with that assembly, if someone, maybe it's better to say refuses to gather with that assembly, that's an indication the person isn't in submission to God's Word. The person isn't obeying God's command, or the person either doesn't believe or God's promise or doesn't want what's being promised. And we'd have to say that's a, that's an indication of, of faithlessness to, to forsake what God is putting out there, what God wants us to have. Jesus, Jesus says, "The one who loves me keeps my commands." He says, "My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me." So, so to forsake, to give up going to church is an indication of somebody losing faith in the Word.

Thank you, Mike. What about you, Erik?

Yeah. As Pastor Willitz said, that the primary reason we come to church is to receive the forgiveness of sins, um, through the Word and sacrament. But there are, there are other reasons we come to church too: for fellowship, for mutual encouragement, uh, to pray together, to learn God's Word together, to grow in our love for one another as well. And then I th- think about that second part of your question, why women are leaving. Uh, yes, the ultimate cause is unbelief, right? But maybe it would be helpful to talk about some secondary causes or some obstacles that get in the way of, of, of coming to church, right? That kind of feed into that unbelief. And, uh, that article in Forward in Christ, it, it mentions, uh, you know, that women feel like they don't have a, a sense of belonging in our churches. And I think she's getting onto something that's good there, and it's something that we need to diagnose a little bit. You know, why are women not feeling like they belong in church? And, and one of the surveys that she, uh, references in the article talks about how many people are, are unchurched these days. But she, she didn't go on to, uh, quote some of the, uh, important information along with that survey. And if you don't mind, I'm gonna read some of the, the, the findings from that survey on, uh, center, the Survey Center on American Life. That's what she quoted, uh, by Daniel Cox and Kelsey Hamman. Uh, the... You could look it up online, uh, for our viewers. Uh, it's called Young Women Are Leaving Church in Unprecedented Numbers, and it was published on April 4th in 2024. But let me read you some of the findings, uh, and I think it's helpful on why women might be leaving the church. It says this: uh, "61% of Gen Z women identify as feminist, uh, far greater than women from previous generations. Younger women are more concerned about the unequal treatment of women in American society and are more suspicious of institutions that uphold traditional social arrangements." And then later on, it talks about this is not only about, uh, gender roles. Uh, there's a growing number of, uh, women who identify as a liberal- And the, uh, author of this article says that, uh, there are unequivocally pro-choice, these younger women that are i-in our society today. 54% of young women believe abortion should be available without any restriction, and this was in a 2022 survey that was conducted. And then this has also coincided with the rise of the LGBTQ identity among young women. Nearly three in 10 women, 30% of women under the age of 30, they now identify as something other than straight. And I, I, I cite all that information because I think it's, uh, insightful on, on where society is today and where young women are at in their understanding of, of the world and who they are and, uh, and, and what, what, what their belief about God or maybe their lack of belief about God. And I think a lot of this exodus of the, of the younger women, they can't find a place, or they don't feel like they belong in, in church anymore because perhaps maybe the world has been telling them what to value in, in, in life. You know, what it means to be a woman. And, you know, the article didn't mention any of this, right? Which, uh, I, I think was, you know... It was helpful that if she did mention this, uh, that the rise of feminism among our society, uh, anti-Christian values in our culture, right? We have this, uh, expressive individualism that my life is all about making me satisfied. You know, what brings me the most, uh, joy in life. And really this is what lies at the heart of some of this, uh, feminist ideology, which really has its roots in, in Marxism, I would say. This class struggle between the oppressed and the oppressor, right? And, and if you look at in the past 100 years, feminism really became, uh, prominent under the ideology of Simone de Beauvoir. She's a, a French philosopher in the 1940s. And I, I think it's helpful to define feminism 'cause maybe we throw that word around all the time, right? Maybe people think about w-women have equal rights in our world, right? That women are just as valuable as men. And certainly as Christians, right, we would say that, right? Well, women are just as valuable and loved by God, right? Uh, he made us both in his image, male and female. But feminism really, uh, it-it's, it's not-nothing to do with that. Feminism is an attack against the Christian values of what it means to be a woman, and this is what Simone de Beauvoir, w- uh, she really... When she was promoting feminism, she talked about how the female body, how God has made us, is disadvantageous, uh, to women, right? And it's something rather not to embrace, but something to overcome, right? That there's something wrong about how God made a woman. And, and so really the, the goal of feminism is to destroy or to, uh, desecrate, right, this concept of motherhood and, and what it means to be a, a, a woman made in, in God's image, right? And, and so technology has helped made women, uh, ha- has given them more opportunities, right, to not accept and not e-embrace how God has made them to be. And one more point about this. Uh, uh, I was just reading a, a, an excellent book by, uh, Carl Trueman about the desecration of man, and he, he talks about feminism in his book on how it's a, a direct challenge to how God has made us male and female in His own image. And he says this: "It's, it's a direct challenge to the notion that we have limits, obligations, and ends. It sees the womb as a limitation. It sees motherhood as a imposition, and it sees the reproductive teleology of the body not as something to be embraced, but as something to be overcome. It involves a desecration of the human body in all three aspects." And so getting back to the question, right, why women are leaving the church, they don't feel like they belong. Well, what has the world been teaching women on what it means to be a woman, and what has the church... Has the church been faithful in, in, in teaching how God has designed a woman and, and upholding the, the beautiful, wonderful creation of, of male and female, and the distinctives that God has, has given us, limits and obligations and unique goals for both the man and for the woman.